Suki Jones 

Who am I? It’s a question I’ve wrestled with, and maybe, after all the mistakes and the moments of clarity, I’m finally starting to understand. I’m Suki Jones. A man standing in the middle of a life that’s been torn apart, trying to figure out how to put the pieces back together. If you’ve read my introduction, you already know part of the story—the affair, the drinking, the divorce, the long nights alone in my apartment missing my kids and wondering what the hell happened to the life I once knew. But that’s only part of who I am.

I’m also a working professional, holding it down in a world that’s constantly moving forward even when my personal life feels like it’s stuck in reverse. On the outside, I look like I have it together—professional, sharp, calm under pressure. A British-born Sikh male, I was raised by immigrant parents who taught me the value of hard work and resilience. And yeah, that’s always been a part of me: the drive, the ambition, the hunger to be the best. I’ve always been that alpha male—the one striving to be on top, to have it all, to chase goals that constantly shift just as I think I’m reaching them. Whether it’s in my career, my personal life, or my passions, I’ve been running a race against myself for as long as I can remember.

I’ve got a love for fast cars, sharp clothes, and that relentless pursuit of success. There’s something about pushing limits, whether it’s on the road or in life, that gets my blood pumping. It’s that thrill of the chase—going after the next big thing, always hungry, never satisfied. But here’s the thing about always chasing: you never actually stop to enjoy what you’ve got. And eventually, the chase can burn you out, leave you running in circles without ever reaching the finish line.

That’s where I found myself—running after a version of success, a version of "the best," that always seemed just out of reach. It worked for a while. I had the family, the house, the career, the image. But it wasn’t sustainable. The cracks started showing, and instead of slowing down to fix them, I kept pushing, kept chasing. And eventually, everything collapsed.

Now, I’m standing in the wreckage of a life I thought I was building for myself and my family. I’ve had to strip back all the layers—peel away the professional image, the alpha male persona, and look at what’s left. It hasn’t been easy. It’s been brutal. But it’s also been necessary.

I’m still that guy who loves his cars, who feels at home in a sharp suit, who wants to push the limits. But I’m also a man who’s had to confront his demons head-on. I’m a recovering alcoholic, a single dad who’s fighting to rebuild a relationship with his kids, a Sikh man trying to reconcile my upbringing with the chaos I created in my life. My culture has always been a big part of my identity—the principles of discipline, respect, and community—but I’ve struggled to live up to those ideals, especially in the worst moments of my life.

Now, I’m trying to do better. To be better. Not just for myself, but for my kids, for the future I still believe I can build. It’s hard, though. Because even as I try to rebuild, I still feel that pull—the need to be more, to do more, to never settle. That’s who I’ve always been, for better or worse. The guy who’s always chasing a goal, even when that goal keeps shifting, keeps moving further away. But now, I’m trying to find balance. Trying to figure out how to be ambitious without letting it destroy me, how to be driven without losing sight of what really matters.

I’m still navigating my way through this mess—still figuring out how to balance my career, my sobriety, and my role as a dad. I’m in court more often than I’d like, still fighting over custody, over money, over the pieces of my life that feel like they’ve been scattered to the wind. And yeah, debt is still a constant weight. But despite all that, I’m staying in the game. I’m fighting to get back on my feet, to carve out a life that doesn’t just look good on the surface, but that actually feels good.

So, who am I?

I’m a man in recovery—not just from alcohol, but from my own relentless drive to be perfect. I’m a father, trying to rebuild a relationship with my kids. I’m a professional, showing up for work every day, even when the weight of everything else feels like too much. I’m a Sikh man, proud of my roots but wrestling with my own failures. And I’m someone who’s still chasing something, but maybe this time it’s not about being "the best." Maybe this time, it’s about being better than I was yesterday.

This blog is my outlet, my therapy, my space to tell the truth about what it’s like to fall apart and try to put yourself back together. I’m not here to offer some polished success story—I’m not there yet, and I don’t know if I ever will be. But I’m here, and I’m still moving forward, one step at a time.

If you’re here too—struggling, chasing, trying to figure it all out—then maybe we can figure it out together.